


Honeymooners and Spring Breakers

by reginahalliwell



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Cancun, Honeymooners, M/M, SC S7 Prompt Fest: Episode 1: The Honeymoon, Spring Break, not actually that smutty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:27:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29386266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reginahalliwell/pseuds/reginahalliwell
Summary: David and Patrick book a few days at Temptation Resort Cancun for their honeymoon, but unfortunately their desire to take advantage of good deals means it falls during Spring Break.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 28
Kudos: 106
Collections: Schitt's Creek Season 7





	Honeymooners and Spring Breakers

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [SCSeason7](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/SCSeason7) collection. 



> **Prompt:**  
>  For 701, David and Patrick really do go to Cancun for their honeymoon to an all-inclusive resort. Please give me all the sunscreen application, pool time, day drinking, honeymoon sex, David’s annoyance at the spring breakers, and that night that they mentioned in the EW interview that they go relive their youth and join the spring breakers!
> 
> This fic owes a big thank you to [High Seas Swan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FangLang/pseuds/High-Seas-Swan) without whom it would not have gotten finished.

Day One

It was late evening when their much-delayed flight finally landed at Cancun International Airport, the long day having taken its toll on both the honeymooners. David was spritzing everything around him with some sort of purifying spray, the many steps of his morning’s skincare routine unable to hide the stress that brought out dark circles under his eyes. He was frazzled, clearly, and at this point, hangrier than anything else.

Patrick was doing his best to be a good husband, half a year into their marriage, but travel stress was getting the better of him too. The strap on his carry-on had broken as they were going through security in Toronto, and he’d had to wrangle the bag in and out of the overhead compartment on both their first and second legs, through their layover in Atlanta (he was not eager to return to that airport anytime soon), and most recently through Customs.

“I still don’t understand why you insisted on bringing so much stuff,” Patrick had grumbled, mostly because carrying his own broken duffel bag left him unable to assist David with his enormous checked bag, carry-on, and personal item.

“You’ll be thankful when you find out what’s _in_ said bags,” David offered temptingly, though truthfully Patrick had watched him pack and knew everything they included. Well, _almost_ everything. David hated traveling commercially if only because it made transporting his lubricant collection almost impossible in sufficient quantities, not to mention the relentless anxiety about an embarrassing search of his luggage revealing any of the many sex toys he had brought.

But they had gotten through security, and then the flights themselves (no thanks to a potential bird collision that had delayed their second leg by over an hour while they waited for the all-clear from airplane maintenance), and finally through customs. They were in Mexico, on their long-awaited honeymoon.

The problem with this honeymoon, they found out immediately upon disembarking their flight, was that it fell right in the middle of Spring Break season. It was late March, and the airport was chock full of 18-22 year-olds itching to party. Patrick, ever the researcher, had known this might be the case, and specifically booked their stay at an all-inclusive 21+ resort, hoping to escape some of the younger college students who had traveled to Mexico specifically to exploit its lower drinking age.

As their car approached the resort, Patrick breathed a sigh of relief. It seemed like the bulk of the partiers were at the hotels to either side of theirs, though still annoyingly close. He supposed it wasn’t called the Hotel Zone for nothing.

Patrick checked them in at the desk, grinning alongside his husband as they took in the sultry atmosphere of the resort. They had booked at Temptation Resort Cancun not just to escape the noise and chaos of the spring breakers, but also because it claimed to be a queer-friendly space where David and Patrick would feel comfortable showing affection (or doing whatever they wanted, short of actually having sex) in public. There were very few rules at Temptation, and it promised them at the very least a _fun_ time.

Patrick had spent many of his formative years having fun, yes, but fun with the wrong person. He was ready to experience whatever awaited them both with David at his side. David, too, was happy enough to rewrite his “candy-raver” years with Patrick, playing and dancing and whatever-ing on their honeymoon.

When Patrick left the check-in desk with their keycards, David leaned in to kiss him. “Please tell me we got an ocean view room.”

“Of course we did,” Patrick assured him. “It’s what we booked.”

“Well, I’m glad. Let’s get up there before I pass out and you have to carry me _and_ my luggage to the room.”

“It’s cute that you think that would happen, David. I’m as exhausted as you are, and I’m already carrying a broken bag,” he said, turning towards the elevators and calling one to the lobby.

“God, this décor is really…something,” David observed, changing the subject. “It’s a bit much, don’t you think?”

The elevator dinged, and they stood to the side as a couple that was all over each other realized the doors had opened and walked out, unwilling to let go even for a moment to go single-file. Patrick walked in, stepped to the side, and held the door open for David and his many bags to enter it. Silhouettes of naked women dancing decorated every accent wall in sight, including the elevator, and pops of bright colors looked stark against the white and black walls.

Patrick pushed the button for the eighth floor, leaning in to kiss David on the edge of his jaw, then whispered mock-earnestly, “It’s certainly getting _me_ in the mood.”

When David pulled away, aghast, Patrick started laughing. “I know, it’s a lot. But just imagine how much worse it would be if we were surrounded by drunken teenagers. Sloppy mouths everywhere, beer sloshing around, kids falling over each other. Beer pong…”

“Okay, that’s enough of that,” David said aggressively, unexpectedly timing it perfectly as the elevator dinged and opened on their floor.

“Perfect,” Patrick said. “Here we are.” They followed the arrows to their room, and Patrick set down his bag so he could pull out the keycard and stick it in the slot. When the light glowed green, he turned the handle and opened the door to their room, holding it open with his foot and tossing his bag inside before grabbing one of David’s and then holding the door open for David to follow him.

“Um,” David let out as they took in the scenery. More of the silhouetted figures graced the wall behind the king-sized bed, and a _very_ brightly colored rug that looked like an optical illusion or something straight out of the 1960s lay on the floor in front of them. Other bright colored waves and curves, all intended to evoke a sense of sensuality, Patrick was sure, filled the accent walls and borders.

Upon investigation, though, David discovered they had a private balcony with a jacuzzi, which made up for pretty much everything else. “Okay,” David said finally, after his examination of the amenities was complete. “I’ll allow it.”

“Gee, David, I’m really glad we saved up for the last six months to afford this place for you to _allow it_.” There was no vitriol in his voice, and Patrick’s smirk betrayed his actual feelings on the matter. It _was_ a little outlandish, décor-wise, but it would serve their purposes very well.

“Unpack, David. I’m getting in the shower, and I expect you to join me there shortly,” Patrick said. His voice had the kind of dominant quality to it that they sometimes played with, and that _always_ drove David wild.

He swallowed and grinned, squinting a bit and wringing his mouth into a familiar shape. “If you insist,” he acquiesced, and turned to unpack.

Day Two

“What exactly _is_ a ‘sexy pool,’ do you think?” Patrick asked, turning to David as they walked through the lobby on their way to the oceanfront pool.

“I mean, it’s hard to make chorine and concrete sexy,” David said, “so I’m sure I don’t know.”

It turned out the sexy pool was just a pool, though upper-body clothing was optional. It had several inset private seating areas in the water and the entire outer rim of the pool was very shallow, perhaps to encourage guests to frolic together there.

David methodically scouted their location to ensure optimal sun exposure, proximity to the pool, and quiet (as far from other guests as possible). As soon as they laid out onto the lush two-person lounger, their belongings tucked safely underneath, a waiter approached to take their drink order.

“Okay, well that’s nice,” David observed, and then set his gaze on the waiter walking away.

Patrick watched David watch the waiter and laughed to himself as he shook his head. “Alright, David, I need your help.”

David glanced over and saw Patrick held their Rose Apothecary mineral sunscreen in his pale hands. “Only if you do mine too,” he bargained, but grabbed for the sunscreen before Patrick could respond.

David slathered the expensive sunscreen on his husband’s very pale body. He had suggested Patrick go tanning to get himself a good base for their trip to Mexico, but after the spray-tanning incident of the previous year, there was no budging him.

So here was David’s very pale husband, his torso, arms, and face all in desperate need of their good sunscreen, and repeat applications at that. They would be lucky if they got through their four days without Patrick turning into a lobster.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Patrick asked.

“What is?” David paused his motions, the bright white sunscreen coating his fingers as he worked it into Patrick’s skin.

“Just being here, away from everything.” Patrick didn’t have to worry about the store or their projected income or revenue taxes or his parents or anything, really. He could just be here and enjoy the moment.

“How blessed you are to not feel anxious about everything all the time,” David said offhand. “Even when you’re on your honeymoon.”

“What, are you really thinking about home?” Patrick quirked his head, closing his eyes as David’s careful fingers spread the concoction over his nose, his forehead, his ears. It was nice to be taken care of by his husband.

“No,” David said, then qualified, “Well, not a lot. Not as much as usual. I’m thinking about how we’ll need to do something big to get the store back up and running when we return, and about how Stevie said things were a little awkward with Ruth on her last visit to New York, so I’m feeling some friend anxiety for her trip. And I’m worried about Alexis.”

“You’re always worried about Alexis. What is it this time?” Patrick opened his eyes again once it was clear David had sufficiently worked the sunscreen into his skin.

David handed him the bottle and gestured for Patrick to repay the favor while he answered. “It’s nothing, really. Just I have this feeling that she isn’t quite settled in there yet, even though it’s been a few months.”

“David, your sister is more resourceful than practically anyone I’ve ever met. Even if that’s true, I highly doubt Alexis won’t be able to figure it out.”

“I just miss her, I guess,” David admitted, eyes darting away from Patrick’s knowing gaze.

“Now that, I do believe.” Patrick wiped his hands off on David’s broad shoulders, clearing them of any wayward sunscreen, and took David’s face into his hands for a deep, reassuring kiss. “You’re a good brother,” he said, kissing him once more before taking more of the sunscreen into his hand and spreading it over David’s tan face. He wouldn’t want to have any premature signs of aging thanks to sun exposure, so regular application was a must.

Letting his anxiety and sadness slip away for the moment, David’s expression changed to one of mischief. He took the bottle back from Patrick and set it down on the lounger, reaching his arms around Patrick’s neck and resting them there. “I love you so much,” he whispered, feeling like suddenly they were the only two people in the world.

“I love you,” Patrick replied in kind, smiling at how easily David now let those words fall from his lips.

Before they knew it, an intimate exchange of words had turned into something very physical, and Patrick pulled them both down onto the cushioned lounger, holding David close and pressing their bodies as tightly together as possible, his mouth ravenous against David’s.

A sound of footsteps caught David’s attention after a few minutes, and he gently extricated himself from Patrick to find that while they had been caught up in each other, the waiter had returned and set their drinks on the table beside their lounger, discreetly come and gone before they’d even known he was there.

Patrick blushed upon realizing what the waiter had silently witnessed, though his cheeks were already flushed from arousal. Rolling around on the pool lounger while they made out had not _exactly_ been among his plans for the day, but Patrick had been looking forward to this particular resort for a reason. It was freeing for public displays of affection, especially between two men, to be so unremarkable and commonplace here. In that respect, Temptation was a cut above every other resort at Cancun.

“Well that’s embarrassing,” he said anyway, rubbing the back of his neck and looking around at the rest of the poolgoers to see if anyone was watching them or if he could see the waiter somewhere. He half-expected a sultry grin or a knowing look from someone, but thankfully everyone (except those who were very much up in each other’s spaces) seemed to be minding their own business.

It was a different story when they actually got in the pool.

After an hour or so of lounging in the sun (and of course, reapplying sunscreen, then waiting the required half hour for it to absorb properly in the skin), Patrick and David decided to investigate the so-called “sexy pool” up close.

They walked up to find many topless women lounging poolside, and even more in the pool itself, their party groups or couplings spread out across the inset seating areas, shallow area, and into the deeper water. It was pretty populated, but it wasn’t the raucous kind of activities one might normally find in a pool – splashing, playing chicken, tossing a ball.

David glanced around and found that one of the inset seating areas in the pool was available, and he winced and glanced over at Patrick. “Do we want to take a chance on that one?” His facial expression made Patrick laugh.

“They’re not actually having sex in the pool, David, so I think we’re probably fine,” Patrick offered, leading them into the water until they came to the empty spot.

“Okay, there was a lot of room for error in that statement, so I’m putting it out there right now: I will _not_ be swimming around in other people’s jizz, so if we find _any_ evidence of that, we’re getting out immediately.”

He sounded serious, but Patrick just smiled back. “Okay, David.”

David huffed and sat himself down on the bench. He was tall, so the water only came up to the top of his chest, whereas on Patrick in came right up nearly to his chin. Still, they both sat down, huddling close, holding hands, and tried to just enjoy it. The sun was shining, a breeze was keeping them from getting too hot, and they were together, enjoying this luxury pool.

After a few minutes of sitting on the ledge, David tested the depth of the water in the center of the seating area. It wasn’t much deeper, but he could sort of squat to hold the majority of his body under the water. “C’mere,” he beckoned, holding out a hand to his husband.

Patrick grinned, wondering what David had in mind and eager to find out.

David pulled the slightly smaller man into his arms, holding them both up as they caressed in the water. Patrick leaned in to kiss him and wrapped himself completely around David, his ankles going around David’s hips to hold them together, his arms around David’s neck and shoulders, warm and strong and _his_.

“I could stay here all day like this, I think,” Patrick said, pulling away from the kiss momentarily to look into David’s eyes, cherishing the love and affection he found there.

“We can, you know?” David replied. “I don’t care what we do on this trip. We can skip snorkeling this afternoon if you want and just spend the rest of the day like this.”

“I don’t care either,” Patrick said. “All I care about is spending a few days just me and you.”

Sometimes it still hit David strangely that someone would want to spend so much time just with him. That he wouldn’t be _too much_ even for Patrick, who loved it. That he could be his big, dramatic, needy self, and be loved even more for it.

It made him desperate to kiss his husband again, so David leaned back in, pulling Patrick’s body impossibly tighter against his own. He wasn’t quite hard, although having Patrick up close to him like this would take care of that before too long, but this wasn’t exactly the sort of public place where he would want anything to happen.

And then someone from the next in-pool seating area called out to them. “First trip away together?” she asked.

It took everything in him for Patrick to not drop off of David’s body instantly, caught like a kid with his hand in the cookie jar. But here, they weren’t doing anything wrong (not that they were doing anything _actually_ wrong, just not something that they would normally do in public). Here, people weren’t supposed to take issue with such things.

But he held on, and turned to smile politely at the topless young woman. “We’re on our honeymoon, actually,” he replied.

The girl squealed and grabbed her friend’s arm, pulling yet another topless woman to face them. “Vi, they’re on their honeymoon. Isn’t that just the cutest thing?!”

Suffice it to say, they decided to go snorkeling after all.

Day Three

“I want to go to that club tonight,” David said as he took a sip of his daiquiri. “The one we saw when we headed to dinner.”

“Okay,” Patrick agreed easily. “But I didn’t see you packing your pacifier necklaces sooo…”

“Very funny. It may be too late for an easy annulment but I can still divorce you,” David shot back, but reached out to take Patrick’s hand anyway as they looked to the ocean. It was still within the confines of the resort, but their private beach had bar service and provided seating and umbrellas.

The day went on, and after lunch things started to really pick up on the beach, with both resorts around them filling up with crowds. Several daiquiris and piña coladas later, the spring break crowds nearby decided to get a lot rowdier. After all, they were surrounded on both sides by 18+ resorts unlike Temptations decidedly adult 21+ clientele. It wasn’t too bothersome until someone broke out a wireless speaker and decided to damage David’s calm.

“Okay. I wanted to relax by the ocean, maybe take a couple of dips as long as there are no signs of sharks nearby – don’t tease me about that, it’s a very real problem – and these… hooligans are making that very difficult.”

“Aw, poor thing. Do you want me to go beat them up for you?” Patrick offered, head tilted as he teased his husband.

“It’s very nice of you to offer,” David replied, trying to let the spring breakers slip beneath his notice again, and failing. “Maybe someone could just ask them to quiet down?”

“It’s a beach, David, not a golf course. I think they’re allowed to be as loud as they want.”

David huffed. “Fine,” he said, drinking down the rest of his daiquiri before standing up purposefully.

“What’s happening now?” Patrick quirked an eyebrow, unsure of David’s intentions. “Are you going to go say something? Because I don’t think—”

“No, _we’re_ going to go join them,” he said instead. “You know that old saying, the ’if you can’t beat them, join them’ one. We’re doing it.”

“Really?” Patrick asked, surprised. He had thought this might be the last thing David would ever want to do. He had already heard enough complaints about spring breakers ruining _his_ vacation.

“If I can’t have quiet day-drinking on the beach, then I’m at least going to have fun. Are you coming?” David asked, holding out a hand to his still-horizontal husband.

Patrick grinned, and stood with him to join the spring breakers. They walked past the border of the Temptation section of the beachfront through to several beach volleyball courts that were being used and then to some makeshift beer pong tables. Past those, Patrick could see a bikini contest in progress, and elsewhere, a wet tee-shirt contest. Very heteronormative, he thought, in ways he hadn’t really considered before.

They approached a group playing some sort of beach drinking game, and though they were at least a decade older than the majority of the people there, were welcomed in with cheers. New drinks were suddenly in their hands, and before long, both Patrick and David’s faces were painted with laughing smiles.

After about an hour, David made them leave to reapply sunscreen, though the glint of desire in his eyes told Patrick his husband actually had other plans.

“Where are we going?” Patrick asked, grinning from ear to ear as David led him back to the hotel.

“Where do you think?” David asked exasperatedly, tugging Patrick’s hand into the elevator.

As soon as he got Patrick into the room, David let go of his hand and headed out to the balcony. It was still sort of public, in that it was literally _outside_ , so if they were too loud people might hear them, so it hit that particular kink, but there were no topless women to fetishize them here.

When Patrick made his way out to the balcony behind David, he found his husband had discarded his swim shorts and gotten into the jacuzzi tub naked.

“I thought you had a rule about having sex in bodies of water,” Patrick said, a little confused after David had outright refused his suggestion they mess around in the ocean, not to mention his concern about wayward jizz in the sexy pool.

“That’s only if we come in the water,” David countered. “And I have some ideas about how to get around that particular issue,” he suggested, a twinkle in his eye.

Patrick was game for just about anything, especially when it came to sex with David, so he dropped his shorts and hopped into the steaming water beside his husband. “I’m pretty sure you aren’t supposed to stay in a hot tub for more than fifteen minutes,” he observed, noting the guidelines posted on the wall beside their private tub.

David quirked an eyebrow. “Best get to it, then,” he ordered.

Patrick let out a laugh and reached below the water for David’s erection, working it up and down in his grip. He leaned in to kiss David, then pulled back millimeters from his mouth, whispering, “Anything for my husband.” Patrick knew how much saying _that word_ still excited David, and sure enough, he could hear David’s breathing change in that way that telegraphed just how close he was to an orgasm.

Patrick continued with his hand another moment or two, judging David’s breathing a bit more, and then kissed him again with a smirk and dipped his head beneath the water, taking David’s hard cock into his mouth.

He’d never been much of a swimmer, couldn’t hold his breath very long underwater, but Patrick knew David better than he knew his own body, and it was mere seconds of Patrick’s mouth on his before David was coming. Patrick sucked him hard, careful to get every bit of come into his mouth – it was harder than he’d expected – before surfacing.

“Good?” Patrick asked, spitting a bit of wayward water over the side of the tub. David was leaned back onto the side of the jacuzzi, fingers gripping the tub so hard his knuckles were white. David had enough strength to tilt his head and glare at Patrick, as if to say, ‘Don’t be so smug, you know how good you are at that.’

“You know,” Patrick continued, “you’re also not supposed to put your head under the water in hot tubs. It’s a hazard.”

David paused a moment, squinted a bit, and replied, “Pretty sure that’s so you don’t get your hair sucked into the drain and drown. Are you planning on exploring the tub floor?” Patrick shook his head with a twinkle in his eyes. “Then I guess we’ll just have to risk it,” David finished.

“Does that mean it’s my turn?” Patrick asked, when David’s energy had returned. His husband smirked and pressed Patrick’s body up against the seat, sloshing some water out onto the balcony with the force of it. Then he leaned down, into the chlorinated water, getting his gorgeous hair wet, and started to suck Patrick off. Unlike Patrick, David _could_ actually hold his breath for quite a long time.

They made it out of the hot tub just a bit over the fifteen-minute limit, and then continued their celebrations in the shower.

Day Four

Unfortunately for both of them, Patrick had gotten food poisoning – or at least some pretty severe gastrointestinal distress – from the dinner they’d eaten last evening. It was bad enough that Patrick hadn't felt up to going out for drinks and dancing, but not bad enough that he spent the rest of the night on the toilet. Instead, he and David had settled into their plush bed to watch a movie and relax. He’d fallen asleep somewhere between Sandra Bullock’s character flying to Sitka and Ryan Reynolds’ character actually proposing, which… he’d missed most of the movie.

When he woke the next morning, his stomach had settled and he was game to make the most of their time. They would make it to that club David wanted to visit tonight, he was sure of it.

As the days stopped counting up and starting counting down on their vacation, Patrick and David decided to check out some other parts of the resort. There was a so called “quiet pool” which was also topless, but would likely have visitors a little more circumspect than the sexy pool had. As much as Patrick felt at home, he didn’t particularly want to talk with other people about his relationship with David. He was here to celebrate it, but just between the two of them.

The quiet pool, as it turned out, was very much like the sexy pool, though it felt a little bit more secluded. And the other pool patrons all seemed to keep to themselves a little bit better. Not that the sexy pool had been raucous like the beach, per se, but it was nice to just hear the wind and the ocean and the birds in addition to David’s even breathing. Not splashing or laughter or anything also to detract from this peaceful feeling of David laying next to him, holding his hand. They lay like that for what felt like minutes but David assured him was actually a half hour, before David insisted on turning over to get sun on his back and even things out. Patrick didn’t feel like doing the same, so he tipped his baseball cap down over his eyes and took a nap, sure that David would wake him when it was time to reapply sunscreen, or when he got hungry (it was a toss-up which would come first).

It was almost an hour before David shook him awake, and the first thing that Patrick felt when he came to was that his chin was quite warm. He had remembered sunscreen, but unfortunately with the tan he had acquired during his inadvertently long nap, he now seemed to have a permanent five o’clock shadow on the lower portion of his face.

David tsked and tutted at him for it, though Patrick knew David must have fallen asleep briefly too, if he let his back tan for that much longer than his front.

“Come on, let’s reapply,” David insisted, although the damage had already been done.

“Should I put something over my mouth to tan the rest of my face, you think?” he asked, mostly joking. David’s brow furrowed as though this was a very real possibility for solving the present problem. “I was kidding,” he said as David’s expression showed he was seriously considering the idea.

“I’m not. We do need to even you out,” David said, thinking.

“I’ll even _you_ out,” Patrick threatened jokingly.

“Okay, what is that even supposed to mean?” David asked, gesticulating with his hands.

Patrick leaned in to kiss him and didn’t respond. “Okay, do your worst. I’ll lay here and you can strategically cover my tan area so I can be seen in public with you.”

“Please. If I was willing to take engagement pictures with you as a pumpkin, I can certainly deal with a little unfortunately placed tan line.” At Patrick’s glare, David winced – that day clearly still stung, even so long ago. Patrick took his sunglasses off and waited as David carefully positioned his teeshirt to cover the lower half of Patrick’s face, then leaned down and kissed him right on the nose before pulling away to lie down as well.

“Okay, so a half hour like that and it should at least look similar enough. Of course, we can always use some foundation to –”

“It’s going to be fine, David. Now, tell me about this club we were supposed to go to last night. What’s the theme tonight?

Patrick lay there patiently waiting for the time to tick down as David described not only last night’s theme (doctors and nurses, no thanks) but also the theme nights of every day they had been here. They should have gone the first night, which was mimicking a traditional white party like many clubs had on the gay circuit.

But tonight, apparently, was an underwear party. Like, not a lingerie for women and suits for guys imbalanced sort of nonsense, but just, everyone in their underwear. Which was kind of exciting and also kind of terrifying. It wasn’t like his housewarming party, where he and David had both been in pajamas but said pajamas were basically the definition of modesty. No, he imagined that David would have something else in mind for this evening.

Before he knew it, Patrick’s tanning time was up and David leaned over, pulled the shirt off his mouth and shaded his eyes to look Patrick over.

“Well, what’s the damage?” he asked, expecting David’s scrutinizing to result in more tanning of that particular spot again, or changing their orientation to the sun, or something else that seemed entirely unnecessary.

Instead, David leaned down and kissed him firmly, replaced Patrick’s sunglasses on his eyes, and then pulled away to smile. “My husband is gorgeous,” he said simply.

Patrick was struck with tenderness in that moment, and rather than being the troll that he was, he responded in kind. “ _My_ husband is gorgeous too. What a coincidence,” he added with a smile. “Actually, if my husband doesn’t mind, I think I’d like to make out with him in the pool.”

“I don’t think he would mind that at all,” David said, sitting up and stretching before holding out his hand for Patrick to join him.

The quiet pool had only a few people in it, all in couples or small groups, and they all seemed to be quietly keeping to themselves. One of the couples, a pair that included, Patrick thought, one woman and one very androgynous human, seemed to have the same idea as they had and was fervently making out in the deepest part of the pool.

David pulled Patrick towards a little alcove that had a waterfall. “Come on,” he said, tugging Patrick into the cool water, which felt incredible in the 90-degree heat. Their bodies acclimated to the temperature by the time they arrived at the waterfall, and Patrick let go of David’s hand to submerge himself and get his head wet before standing under the waterfall for a moment, letting the water pressure soothe him.

“Alright, come on in,” Patrick beckoned, and though David paused a moment before he stepped through the waterfall, he seemed happy enough to be back there with Patrick once he had.

“I love seeing you get your hair wet, you know. It’s nice to see you let loose like this,” Patrick observed, seeing his husband’s hair that was usually so perfectly coiffed be wet and unkempt. Even after showering, David’s hair always seemed so tidy and compliant, like he had control of it at all times with his array of products.

David pushed Patrick up against the fake rock that served as the back of the waterfall, forestalling any further comments that Patrick might have voiced about his hair, and soon that was the last thing on his mind.

Later, when they had returned to the room and showered, they decided to order room service for dinner. Patrick stuck with something he had ordered earlier in the trip this time instead of what he had eaten (and regretted) last night. And then before he knew it, it was time to get ready to go out.

“I don’t know if I can do this, David,” Patrick said, looking at himself in the mirror. He was wearing one of the nicer pairs of boxer briefs that David had insisted would change his life. It was navy blue and not black, as David’s were, but it still didn’t feel right. He felt so exposed. So vulnerable.

“You don’t have to,” David said to his surprise. “Wear your boxers, if that feels more comfortable for you.”

“Really?” Patrick asked.

“Really,” David answered. “If you don’t feel comfortable, we won’t have any fun. So it’s up to you. I think you look really sexy like this, and I love how they look on you, but if you feel more comfortable going out in your boxers, then that’s what you should wear.”

David turned away ostensibly to adjust his hair and to moisturize his face again, but really Patrick was sure it was to give him a little space to figure this out. He _did_ look hot in the boxer briefs, he supposed, if David said so. He wouldn’t lie about such a thing.

Boxers were looser and more innocent seeming, he supposed, and would hide the outline of his body as opposed to highlight it like the boxer briefs. He looked over at David, who seemed perfectly comfortable in his own skin as he always did, carbon black boxer briefs standing out against his tan, broad body.

Patrick took one more look at himself in the mirror and forced down the fear he was feeling.

“We should go, now,” he said. “Before I lose my nerve. And you’re going to need to get some alcohol in me as soon as possible.”

“Would it help if periodically I told you how gorgeous you are in those?” David asked, not insincerely.

“Um, yes. That would be fine,” Patrick agreed. “Now come on, let’s go.” He grabbed a robe to throw on over his practically-naked body and put his bracelet back on that contained his ID and payment information, as well as a digital key to their room. David put his on as well, and then they were off.

Patrick was very thankful he had David by his side, or he wouldn’t be able to do this at all. He took a deep breath and walked to the door, taking David’s hand as they headed out for the evening.

Day Five

On their last full day, David decided he wanted to try the ocean again (as long as it was clear there was no shark activity in the area, of course). He had really enjoyed snorkeling, and the day they had spent on the beach before they had actually ended up more with the spring breakers that in the ocean. So today was the day.

When they got to the beach, David went right up to the lifeguard on duty and started asking questions about fishing in the area, the water temperature, and the presence of any larger predators like dolphins or whales. Given that David’s expertise was anything _but_ marine biology, it was fairly impressive how much he knew about such things, even if they were motivated by potentially paranoid fears of shark attacks.

“I’m not crazy, you know. The Yucatan Peninsula has historically had some of the most shark infested waters in coastal regions around the world, and with its high tourism population, statistically it’s more likely that a shark attack will occur here.”

“I’m sure, David.”

“Well you don’t sound sure. You _sound_ like you do when you’re placating me. You’re not placating me, are you?”

“Maybe a little,” Patrick conceded. “I’m sorry. I appreciate you taking care of both of us by staying informed about the risks we’re taking.”

David nodded firmly. “Good. Because if a shark _does_ attack you, I certainly won’t be able to save you.”

“Wow, David. Should I be insulted? I’d try to save you if something attacked us.”

“No, you only _think_ you would,” David countered as he took his shirt off and set it on the lounger that he had apparently decided on, near enough to the water but not in anyone else’s path from their chairs to the ocean. “Most people think in that moment they’d do the right thing, but very few actually could.”

“Maybe I should have put ‘would save you from a shark attack’ in my vows, huh?”

“Hush. Your vows were perfect, thank you very much.” He handed Patrick their bottle of sunscreen, which was nearing the end of its use. “Get my back, please.”

Patrick shook the bottle to get gravity to do the work for him, then squeezed out the bulk of the remaining lotion to spread across David’s broad back. He could suffer himself if they needed to go without sunscreen, but David needed to prevent aging or he would never hear the end of it.

“Alright, you’re good. Can we be done talking about sharks now, please?” Patrick asked.

David squinted at him in that way that he did, pursing his lips and then shaking himself out of the expression. “Fine. But only because you asked so nicely.”

As they finished applying their sunscreen, and then waited for it to properly absorb, David stroked Patrick’s thigh from the chair beside him. “I’m really proud of you, you know?”

Patrick turned toward his husband, pulling his sunglasses down to look him in the eyes. “Why’s that?”

“Last night. You did something you were really scared of, and you were so brave.”

Patrick looked away, a blush reaching his temples as he thought of the night before. “It wasn’t bravery. It shouldn’t be that scary to walk around in a pair of boxer briefs.”

“What’s scary to someone doesn’t have to be scary to everyone,” David said, wise beyond his years sometimes. “I think it was brave.”

“Well,” Patrick said, not sure how to respond. “Thanks. You being at my side made it easier.”

“Mm, because I’m a paragon of husbandly support,” David observed, nodding.

“No, because with you right next to me, everyone was looking at you in your underwear instead of me.”

David mock-gasped and turned fully toward him. “Not true! You were ogled by everyone there and you know it,” he accused.

“Would you just let me compliment you?” Patrick demanded. “My husband is fucking gorgeous and I got to stand next to him while strangers wanted him. _That_ if nothing else felt amazing.”

“Well, I felt pretty incredible being there with you too, you know?” David said. “Let’s just agree that last night was fun and scary and new for _several different reasons_ ,” he suggested, looking pointedly at Patrick as they both thought about what their trip to the club last night had involved.

“Fine,” Patrick agreed. “Can we get in the ocean yet? It’s so hot.”

“Mm, you’re just not used to a tropical climate,” David said. “Not enough vacationing in Mallorca, I think.”

“Yes, well, unfortunately my childhood vacations were closer to Niagara Falls than Fiji, you’ll have to excuse me.”

“Something for us to work on,” David said, in that way that told Patrick his husband had something up his sleeve. He was probably already planning their next vacation to god knows where.

David looked at his phone. “Yep, yeah, we can get in the water now.”

They walked through the hot sand, steadying each other as they walked toward the water.

“When’s the first time you went to a beach, then?” David asked innocently as they climbed into the water, the waves breaking against their ankles, then calves, then knees, then thighs, and then they were past it.

“Rachel and I took a trip to California, once, when she had a business trip that took her there. I went, and that was my first time in an ocean. The water was cold. Way colder than I expected.”

“That recently?” David asked, a little shocked. He was in up to his pecs, and was squatting on the bottom to keep himself at the same height as Patrick.

“Well, my family visited a relative in Maine once, but I wouldn’t exactly call that a beach, and some college buddies and I went to Victoria. But again, not really a beach. So, yeah, I guess San Diego with Rachel was the first, and until now, only time.”

David was quiet. Patrick took his hand. “Hey, just because I haven’t visited that many beaches doesn’t mean I never went on vacations or never had fun. You know how hot it gets in Ontario – my family has a house on Lake Huron, and I spent most summers there. So don’t feel bad for me, okay, just because I didn’t grow up taking private jets to private tropical islands, or something.”

“I just, I wish I could treat you to stuff like that, I guess,” David admitted.

“Where is this coming from?” Patrick asked. “We saved up for this trip, we can save up for another one. Hell, David, if you want to travel ever year to a different beach, I’m up for that. As long as I get to do it with you, I don’t care where we go.”

“I think I’d like that,” David started. “If we found a way to travel together. This has been… I know it’s our honeymoon, so it’s more special, but traveling with you… I love it. I want it to be part of our life.”

Patrick stepped into David’s personal space, pulling him up off his feet and into Patrick’s arms. He wasn’t the best at carrying David’s weight without a wall or something to support him, but in the water David was weightless. He held David to him, the taller man wrapping his legs around Patrick’s waist. “I want it to be part of our life too,” he said, tilting his head up to kiss David.

They made out for a few minutes just like that, the bubble of intimacy from their conversation and their closeness keeping them isolated from all the swimmers nearby for a while.

Until.

“Ah, fuck!” David exclaimed, springing away from Patrick’s body with a surprising gusto. “Something just touched me.”

“I’m sure it was just a fish, David,” Patrick tried to convince him, but the damage was done. David had already hurriedly started to head into shore, careful not to make splashing movement so as to not further provide any potential sharks.

Patrick laughed beneath his breath and followed David in, ready for more sunbathing and day-drinking and perhaps even pool swimming. And then his last night in that abhorrently-decorated hotel room they had all to themselves. Even with a house of their own, a surprising number of people still dropped in. Here, they were just two people in sea of thousands, safe behind an electronic lock.

And there were miles to go before they slept their last night here.

Day Six

When Patrick woke David up the next morning, he was careful to do it gently. David had been upset last night when they were getting ready for bed, not wanting the trip to be over even though they had already decided to start planning to travel together annually. But he was sure it was really that both of them were feeling a sense of anxiety and excitement about heading home to Schitt’s Creek, about their store that awaited them and their home and their friends.

Patrick set to packing while David dozed a little longer. The problem of the broken duffel strap had not gone away in the four days they had spent here, and he should probably have found a solution to the problem before now, when he was faced with the prospect of lugging this heavy bag around from their hotel room to the lobby to the airport, through both flights, and into the car home. It was not an appealing situation.

He packed neatly as usually, methodically going through every area of the hotel room to check for things he might have forgotten. When he was finished, he tried to lift the bag again, which was heavier than it had been before with the few additions of souvenirs they had acquired and gifts to bring to friends and family.

It simply wasn’t how he wanted to spend the last day of his vacation, being frustrated and stressed by having to carry this bag around. Especially if today’s travel ended up being quite as unexpectedly long as their trip here had been.

“Okay, David. It’s really time to get up now,” Patrick said, bringing David a cup of coffee from the gourmet coffee machine. They had put it to good use this week, but it was never more needed than today.

“I’m already packed. Do you want help?” Patrick asked.

“Nope, I’m good.”

“Okay, well I’m just going to take another look at our flight itinerary while you get ready. I can help if you need it.”

“You go, relax. I’m nothing if not methodical with my packing.”

When Patrick next checked in on David, his bags were immaculately organized on the bed, and David was out of the shower on step six of his morning skincare routine.

“We have to go in twenty minutes,” Patrick warned him. “I think I’m going to get a small bag at the airport before we check in, switch the most important stuff over to that and then check my duffel. What do you think?”

“I think that’s a great idea. Why didn’t you just check it in the first place instead of carrying it around all day?”

“I’m just, I’m used to packing light and having everything I need there with me, I guess. It didn’t occur to me to check it just for convenience.”

“It’s an international flight, it’s not like we have to pay extra.”

“No, I know, it wasn’t that. It’s stupid. I don’t know why. I’m going to do it now, though.”

“Okay, honey,” David said, leaning in and kissing Patrick briskly. “I’ll be done in ten and then just need to do a last-minute check.”

He was done in five, and then they were out the door before they knew it. The hotel chauffer loaded everything up and they got their last look at the resort as they drove away, the sun reaching its peak on the spring breakers and couples and singles that were starting to come out in droves.

It was a pretty perfect honeymoon, despite all the things that had gone wrong. This was their first time going away together, on something more than a trip to Elm Valley. Soon, they'd probably be visiting New York to see Alexis together, or even planning to visit to L.A. to see David's parents.

Patrick took David’s hand in the backseat, leaning his head onto his husband’s shoulder for the short drive to the airport and thinking about how lucky he was to love this man. It might be six months into their marriage, but he couldn't wait to spend the rest of their lives together.


End file.
